Election Results
by Jonathan Quince
Tuesday, November 2, 2004 20:25:20
The polls are still open in some states, yet I think it fitting to pre-announce the results in my 2004 campaign for President (see Part 1, Part 2, Part 3).
Preliminary data based on exit polls are showing that Jonathan Quince has collected zero (0) votes this time around.
This may seem curious to many, since I did cast my vote early this afternoon. How could it be that (barring any surprises I find in my e-mail) I did not even amass a single vote? Well, the answer is simple:
I voted for Bush.
On the one hand, I say, take that, stupid-stupid-Kerry and frothing-at-the-mouth rabid Bush-haters. (I can stand an intelligent discussion with a misguided but well-intending Kerry supporter, but the religiously anti-Bush crowd simply disgusts me; if you've been following the news for the past few years, you know those of whom I speak.) But on the other, I must say that I am far from being President Bush's number-one supporter. After all, I'm a porn guy (which Bush hates) — I'm a science guy (which Bush hates, vis-à-vis stem cell research and similar issues) — and I'm a national security guy (which even Bush is too weak on for my tastes). So how could I vote for Bush?
The answer is simple: While some people seem not to have gotten the message, we happen to be in the middle of a war.
In peacetime, I would never vote for Bush. In 2000, I wrote-in an independent candidate; much as I loathed Gore, I couldn't bring myself to make my mark for Bush's name. Yet now, peacetime rules do not apply. For better or for worse, wartime changes the rules in many ways; and at the ballot box today, the rule of wartime expediency determined my vote.
The war is my single deciding issue in this election; and it just so happens that the war is one of the only things that President Bush has done a half-decent job with. (And I do give President Bush some serious credit for his handling of the war. He is facing problems that would daunt all but the strongest of souls, and he has not caved in to the corruption that seems to rule nearly the entire world nowadays.) I dread the very thought of how Kerry would handle the war. As I watch this race draw to a close with the numbers growing closer and closer, I fear for the very future existence of America as we know it.
And that is why Jonathan Quince did not get my vote, even though he would make the perfect President. ;-)
Ahh, well. Being the Oligarch-at-heart that I am, I do believe that I shall simply ignore the polls and carry on with my victory party anyway.